British slang
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: America was confused as hell about British slang, as some of the words meant something different in his nation. So England fills him in on the language of his culture. America is impressed yet utterly confused/stunned about it at the same tie. USUK Platonic, Fluff, *Oneshot*, Modern era A/U, British humour


**If you get any of this British slang without the explanation later on, congratulations**

 **America becomes curious about England's slang compared to his own, so the latter teaches him about it**

 **Fluff and Humor**

 **Please review, follow and favourite**

England and America sat in England's living room quietly, the pleasant ambiance surrounding them. The birds singing outside and the gentle tick of the old grandfather clock in the dining room. The scent of roses from the vase in the dining room table lingering in the air. An all around calmness surrounding them.

Despite what people thought of the relationship between the two nations, they did not always bicker and fight. In fact the two could get along very well sometimes and there were days when America just wanted peace and quiet. So he went to England to get away from it all and take a break from all his duties as a nation.

America was laid on the couch, reading one of his comic books from home. Absorbed in its many pages, reading about his heroic idols that he aspired to be like so very much. Of how strong and capable they were, always knowing what to do and having an answer to every problem. The man he hoped to be one day.

Sure his dreams were seen as childish and he often appeared to lack maturity. But everyone idolized someone for their goals and methods for whatever reason. He wanted to to be a role model to others and be a strong nation that was capable. To show how much he had grown and all the things he had learned over the centuries.

England was sitting in his chair, a cup of tea on the table beside him. Jane Eyre in his lap, absorbed in its words, unable to look away or put it down. Every time he turned a page and read on it moved his soul. He recalled it was made into a movie, which was very well made indeed. Staring two actors, one from his brother Ireland's nation named Michael Fassbender.

Today they were just having a lazy day as their bosses gave them time off. I mean it was rare they ever got peace and quiet with their roles as nations. Everything they did was for the good of their country and citizens. Seeing as they had no word issues and everything was at peace, they could just have a holiday.

America then sighed heavily, dropping his book on his chest. The silence was killing him, he kind of regretted leaving his video games at home as he was really bored. Sure reading comics was fun but when it was all your had to pass the time eventually it became boring and he pined for something else to do for entertainment.

He peered at England deciding to be nosy, I mean there was nothing else to do and England didn't own video games. It wasn't long ago he just got used to using a mobile phone. The guy was old as hell, France being nearly as old as him as he learned the two nations had grown up together when they were very small.

So today he was going to satisfy his curiosity on a subject that had bothered him since he was a very young nation. At one point he had even admired and been part of his history, but as he had grown he somehow forgot it and it became foreign to him. Unable to understand it the way he had once before so very long ago.

"Hey England, how come your nation has such a weird language?" he asked casually. He had never understood his guardians slang even as a child, finding them rather strange. When he asked what some of them meant, England's servant had told him to never mind them and just run along and play though he never understood why.

England blinked in surprise, giving him an almost offended look. He really hated it when America spoke badly about his nations culture sometimes, not realizing how hurtful it could be. He was one to talk with half his bizarre food inventions he had invented over the years like the fluffernutter, reeses pieces and so on.

America saw his expression and held up his hands defensively knowing the temper the Brit had. "Dude chill, I meant with your language. Like Y'know knob, bell-end, skint, fanny, gobsmacked, taking the piss, gutted" he explained. All of the words were unusual and foreign to him, though he laughed at the word knob but never knew why. In truth, he didn't understand half of them whatsoever despite being England's ex colony.

England then relaxed, his previous suspicion dissipating. He could see how his language would sound strange to America, now that he had adapted from the previous nation he used to be. But he was rather amused by how many words he had learned despite not knowing what they meant. Meaning he had been listening in on his arguments with France.

"You know, you're just used a tonne of bad words" he explained. He probably didn't know either, which just made it even more amusing. The innocence of the American was honestly fascinating. Seeing him go from a confident outspoken person, to an innocent, baffled and quiet individual so suddenly was always entertaining to see.

America looked confused, he had just been speaking his mind. As far as he knew he hadn't been speaking bad words that he could think of. He already knew all the swear words his people used. Though he didn't think it to be good manners to say it when England had so many neighbours around that could hear him.

England then straightened up and closed his book, closing it silently in his lap. He then places it on the table beside him before leaning forward and resting on his knees. For once he realized how much younger America was than him, how much he had yet to learn and understand. But he rather enjoyed moments like these.

A playful smile spread across his face and his green eyes twinkled with mischief. "Would you like me to explain?" he asked. Oh, this would be very amusing indeed to learn the younger nations reaction. He would be lying if he said he wasn't rather enjoying this, maybe he could even have a little bit of fun with this.

America perked up, his childish nature coming to light. Closing his comic quickly and sitting up straight showing his interest. He was eager to know what the British male had found so funny about his statements earlier. He wanted to understand this part of his culture that was so alien to him.

* * *

America sat on the couch wide eyed with his cheeks as red as jam. He was in utter disbelief and regretting having opened his mouth, now knowing England was loving every moment of this. "So… they… I just…." He stammered in disbelief tears welling up. He couldn't believe he had done such a thing. He looked so uncool right now, the hero never looked uncool.

England nodded, his legs now folded and his posture more casual. It was rather fun educating America on a subject he knew nothing about. Especially with how embarrassed he was. "A knob is another word for a penis, or someone who acts like an ass" he explained. In basic language, it meant someone whose head was up their own arse; an obnoxious fool.

It was generally used for very unpleasant people that you had an experience with. Usually a lot of motorists used it in traffic when someone did not obey road rules or abused them. In fact swearing was very often used in his nation amongst drivers, due to the stressful atmosphere bringing out that side of his people.

"A fanny means the female organ, but in your language, you use it for the description of someone's ass. A bell-end is an idiot or again a thoughtless fool" England explained. They were such commonly used expressions with his people that he thought America would have education on the subject. It seems he was wrong and ended up having to give the lesson himself.

America leaned forward and covered his face in shame, cringing at what he had just done. England would be able to lord this over him forever, quite literally in this sense. He had just yelled a tonne of bad words in England's house and the neighbours would have heard. Thinking that they were in the middle of a fight or something like that.

England chuckled and gave America a sympathetic look. In this case, he really was acting like the older brother, teaching him lessons on how he should learn from his mistakes. "It's not so bad you know" he reassured America. He had been through worse things, I mean he knew better now so he would think more carefully before using these words in the future.

America frowned, somewhat annoyed at how much England was enjoying this. He could see he was still holding back the desire to laugh after earlier. Man did he look stupid right now. Of all the time he had made fun of England, now England was able to get him back. he had never felt more foolish in his entire life.

He shifted awkwardly then peered at England pouting a little, I mean he had come this far so he couldn't leave it be yet. "What about the rest?" he asked hesitantly. He was worried the rest would be seen as inappropriate too. He needed to know the difference, otherwise he would get really worried about what words he used in the future.

England hummed and rubbed his chin as he wracked his memory "Well, taking the piss means to be a pain. To cause someone else trouble by taking up their time unnecessarily" he explained. It was more commonly used amongst his male citizens when they were having a night out of drinking or doing stupid antics.

America blinked, he had often heard England use the phrase before but never understood what it meant. Often, he had thought that England was trying to say someone else had taken someone's pee. Since in his nation piss was another word for urine, as you could expect he had been confused and somewhat grossed out.

England was stunned by America's lack of knowledge of common slang. Most notably because he once spoke it long ago, but he thought that as America grew he must have thrown it away. Despite it being part of his history he must have archived it and thrown it away. No longer needing it as part of his culture, thus it got lost in translation somehow.

"Surely you have heard the phrases fit or gutted before yes?" England asked curiously. He felt rather hurt to know America had never once tried to understand them as his ex-colony. He had taken the time to understand America as he grew, strengthening their bond as allies. He had hoped that America would have done the same in return.

America shook his head, but he was eager to know more. He felt like he was in a classroom learning about the English language, but from a new perspective rather than the one taught in his country. It felt rather fun, like he was reliving his childhood all over again. In a way it even felt like old times, but now he was older.

England sighed, he really was naïve to the speech of his nation "In your language it would be called sexy. It means a male or female you deem attractive" he explained wearily. He had seen many attractive men and women over the years, being able to appreciate them for being attractive. Though he had been a bit wilder in his youth.

America was surprised, Fit. It just rolled off of the tongue so easily compared to saying sexy. But it sounded better when England said it compared to how it would with his own accent. "What about the other? Gutted" he asked. He wondered if it was another bad word, in his country it meant to remove internal body parts. Like when you sent an animal to the slaughter house.

England softened "I mean's to be very sad or disappointed, about a situation or involving a person" he explained. Like when someone cancelled plans with you at the last second. He himself had felt this way very often, but had never said it openly as not many would understand what he was trying to say at all.

America simply sat there in awe, processing all this new information. England had such weird and wonderful descriptions for things in his country. It seemed he wasn't so boring after all. He felt like he was slowly starting to understand England more, learning about his culture. They were having a bonding moment together and it felt really nice.

He blushed shyly "C… can you teach me more?" he asked hopefully. He wouldn't use them in his nation, but it would be nice to know an inside joke or use the slang when he visited England again. Besides he was having fun, enjoying this personal conversation with his adopted older brother. It felt like old times.

England was touched to hear this, America was trying to learn about his culture. Taking an interest in his social conversation and hoping to understand him more. He then hummed and sat up, he owned quite an extensive library on the English language and slang. He had documented them since long ago, through every single one of his era.

"Where would you like to start?" he asked kindly. He had so much to teach him, but he was glad to do such a thing. To be able to have a brotherly moment like this with America, it felt nice.


End file.
